Proofread and edited, but some changes you need to make because I don't have the necessary information.
As the battle between the continents of Azeroth rages on, this reporter, alongside my trusted bodyguard and companion Hiratio Foxdown, continued onwards to the continent of Northrend to witness the latest confrontation between the Horde and Alliance.
The conflict between them continues despite the hardships on both sides. It would appear that old grudges are never buried beneath the Hatchet. I and my bodyguard decided to investigate the newest front upon the recently renamed “Isle of Conquest”, off the coast of the Icecrown Glacier.
I think it would be a good idea to outline what the fight is about on this island - that is to say, oil for phlogiston, quality stone, and a strategic naval base right next to Icecrown.
The Battle Details
As I landed on the island with a battalion of troops we made our way to the Alliance keep, which resides on the southern side of the Isle. This fortress, like the Horde citadel, is outfitted with three main gates (which are comprised of a new Titan-Steel and thorium alloy), and a battery of nine great field guns running along the main keep towers and above the portcullis. WoWWiki says there are twelve turrets; this may need double-checking in-game.
At the sound of twenty-five gongs, bellowed out among the trees of the island, I and the rest of my group knew that we were about to face the forces of the ferocious and barbarian Horde.
Stage One
The Horde had the upper hand in the first stage of this battle as their savage attack soon overran our brave men and women on the front lines. But word quickly spread that we had a potent tactical manoeuvre up our sleeves. As we soon made our way to the airship hangar on the high ground to the east, a great “whoosh” was audible, as the engine of the mighty airborne ironclad Skybreaker bellowed its furious howl into the wind. The mountains themselves cowered to its magnificence. I along with the remains of my now battle-hardened group swiftly boarded, and we rose to the clouds on the back of this giant metal beast.
Some bits of this paragraph (the bits in yellow) are unclear and kind of confusing. We're never told what the great tactical move the Alliance pulled off was, and the fighting that made your group battle-hardened is never mentioned. Also, where the Skybreaker comes from is unclear. Does it take off from the hangar, or does it fly in from Icecrown and dock at the hangar?
Stage Two
As we mounted the side guns and wind-sails of the airship we felt the adrenaline in our bodies, the rush of power surging in our heads. The feel of the trigger as it rested along our twitching hands, and sent great balls of fire raining down on the unsuspecting Horde fortifications! The walls crumbled rapidly against the power of the Skybreaker.
Victory Is In Reach!
Yet the Horde managed to rally their cruel and twisted goblin engineers, and soon enough the bloated form of a zeppelin could be seen, and swiftly delivered its payload in the form of a cannonball to the side of the Skybreaker. As our fight raged on the entire world seemed to slow down; the stench of blood and sweat was palpable in the wind.
Explosives and gas (this is a little confusing - are the Horde using gas attacks? We need to know where the gas is from, basically) rushed around us. If it were not for the defensive turrets below deck we would have surely fallen under the assault.
It's unclear from the first draft who, if anyone, won the battle - the impression given is that it was a 'draw', but that needs to be very clearly stated. Perry has cut the ending, partly because of the questioning of conflict with the Horde and partly because of the descriptions of injuries.
Another thing: casualty numbers should never be published! Besides the fact that I think those numbers are way too high for the kind of numbers Warcraft nations have to offer, reporting numbers of dead is rather morale-sapping unless you're doing a "These are the dead - THEY MUST BE REPAID IN BLOOD" kind of article.
